Happy Friday, everyone! Blessed Beltane to those celebrating this evening!
April 30th is Honesty Day, and in the spirit of coming clean I am serving up some hot truths: my bookish confessions. So get your tea ready, because I am about to spill some! Just don't pour yours on me when you see what I have to confess . . .
I HAVEN’T READ THE LORD OF THE RINGS OR THE HOBBIT
I started it but never finished, as it was a bit above my reading level when I first gave it a go. I love the movies and really should give the books a chance now that I'm older.
I DIDN’T LIKE THE GREAT GATSBY OR ROMEO & JULIET
While I can appreciate the writing, some of the themes, and the Jazz vibes of the former, I cannot get over how Gatsby is a story about a rich white man using his resources to stalk his old flame. With the latter, it’s just . . . everything? Maybe it's the age we live in now, but they were too young and immature for the relationship they were dreaming of—and they'd just met!
I AM NOT A HUGE FAN OF AUDIOBOOKS
Part of me wishes I could be. I hear about how people blaze through so many more books by listening to audiobooks while exercising, driving, etc. I do this with podcasts, so one would think I'd love audiobooks, but no. I can’t deal with the way narrators change their voices to read for different characters. Aside from Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, narrated by Eddie Redmayne (because duh, he IS Newt Schemander), I haven’t had much luck finding one I enjoy. The only hope for me and audiobooks is nonfiction and poetry, especially read by the author.
I CAN BE A SELF-PUBLISHED SKEPTIC
I know, this is horrible! Yet so often I’m disappointed by a self-pub's lack of quality. I’m not saying they're all bad; there are many gems floating around out there. But they're drowned out by books that read like a junior-high student was pantsing it the night before an assignment was due: grammar and formatting errors, plot holes, a glaring need for revision, you name it. Then the authors solicit fake 5-star reviews, pushing their junk to the surface of the results while the beautiful books with real meat, texture, and flavor are forgotten at the bottom.
I OWN BOOKS I WILL NEVER READ
It’s understandable, with so many new books constantly getting published in all genres. But I have books I know I’ll never read, yet I keep them around so I can have a piece of a moment or person, or because they're just pretty.
I HAVE A HARD TIME DNF-ING
Part of me always waits and hopes for that one scene or twist that manages to make things exciting or tie things together nicely, especially if it’s a popular book. The FOMO is real, y’all. There’s also a slight sense of guilt, like I am letting the author down or insulting them by not finishing the book.
I DO JUDGE BOOKS BY THEIR COVERS
I know, I know! But if I’m not drawn in by the cover, there is a slim chance I will read the back / dust jacket. A cover is a window into the book, often the first part we encounter. If it is not enticing, or I can tell the author / artist / publisher did not put enough effort or thought into the cover, it’s not doing its job.
I HAVE A LOVE-HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH BOOK JACKETS
Yes, they’re super pretty—especially when they double as a poster—and they help keep our books in good condition, but sometimes they're a pain in the ass! I hate when they slip and slide, so I usually deal with them for so long before setting them on the shelf until I finish the book.
I AM BAD ABOUT READING AHEAD
Sometimes shit just gets a little too real and I HAVE to know if a character is about to die or do the impossible. So I read ahead to the last page of the chapter / book. I try to keep it to only the last sentence or paragraph, but I don't always abide by my rule.
I HATE STICKERS
WHY would you want to ruin a perfectly good book with a sticker or label?! All it does is get in the way of the cover and piss me off when I try to remove all the sticky!
I AM A BOOK SNIFFER
I am that stereotypical bookworm that loves the smell of fresh pages and ink. Cracking open a new book is almost like cracking open a candle for me.
I KINDA LIKE BEING LATE TO A SERIES
Because then I don’t have to suffer as long to read the next installment! Having everything fresh in my mind and not having to reread with each new release is the way I like to do it.
I HATE LONG CHAPTERS
Especially if the author is particularly long-winded. I’m cool with it if they insert a few stopping points, either by changing time, perspective, or topic. This keeps the chapter from feeling like a daunting task to take on and almost makes the chapter go by faster.
I HAVE DAMAGED SOME OF MY BOOKS
I’m one of those readers who can’t read without a snack and drink, so I’ve dealt with a few unfortunate cases of spills and Cheeto-fingers. I almost cried when I smudged the white cover of one of my signed copies. I cracked the spine of an old Brian Froud book, and it has to be glued back together. I’ve also accidentally splashed while reading in the bath, and my cat chewed on one of my covers. But worse yet . . .
I HAVE DAMAGED SOME OF MY PARTNER’S BOOKS
If messing up one of your own books is a kick in the gut, it’s worse when you realize you’ve accidentally done this to someone else's. So far I've folded part of one of his paperbacks and left a spot on one of his hardcovers.
I AM OVERLY PREPARED
You never know when you’ll have time to kill or need an escape, so I like to travel with books. On trips I never know what mood I'll be in or how much time I'll have, so I bring my current fiction read, a nonfiction book, and poetry or short stories.
I LOATHE BEING INTERRUPTED
Nothing is worse than being in a good flow and then ripped away. A simple question or request isn’t so bad, but if someone wants to chat out of nowhere, or keeps pestering me when they see I am focused on reading . . .
I WILL USE [ALMOST] ANYTHING FOR A BOOKMARK
Except some of my actual bookmarks, as they’re just too pretty to risk getting messed up. I’ve used torn strips of paper, hair pins, receipts, wrappers, my phone, you name it. Lately I’ve gotten really into tabbing.
I DOGEAR + WRITE IN MY BOOKS
Nonfiction only, though! These books are meant to teach us, so why not add your own bit of wisdom in the margins? If you never get rid of the book, who cares? And if you gift it to someone, I am willing to bet they will appreciate your contribution.
I SUCK AT DUSTING
I’m not sure why I hate this chore since I love the opportunity to rearrange my shelves. But it’s one I tend to put off; sometimes when I'm dusting the rest of the living room, I just skim the edges of each shelf.
That's all (for now), folx! How upset are you with me? Which ones are you guilty of? Should we make Jordan post her bookish confessions? Let me know down in the comments below, or come join the conversation on bookstagram or Twitter!